What A SweetTart

Ok, this is a good one!! (Paleo people – look away now. Go chase your supper).

Much as I love to spend hours with fiddly, time-consuming, calculator-necessitating recipes, some days you need something quick and easy with a minimum of ingredients and effort. Like when you have overslept and you have to be somewhere impressing a crowd with a lovely bit of fresh yumminess and you CANNOT let your Domestic Goddess-nicity slip. Ripping the tertiary packaging (that’s the part with the pretty pictures and the price sticker) off of a Woolies pudding and then pasting smugness on your face is SACRILEGE. It’s for dire moments like these that you need a super-frikkin-awesome recipe like this tucked neatly up your sleeve (dankie Rudolph!!).


This recipe for Microwave Condensed Milk/Yoghurt Tart is an absolute miracle to me. It’s almost too easy, and bizarre in that nobody knows about it (well, nobody I know) (did you know?) (if so: how could you not tell me?? you ham-fisted cow!). It’s like those things you see on Pinterest, which you never knew about but suddenly, once you’ve seen the step-by-step tutorial, makes perfect sense. Like finger-knitting. And Halloween costumes for dogs. How did we ever live without them.

But I digress. This recipe contains 4 ingredients, all of which are staples for me. The yoghurt is my favourite part – high in protein, low in fat (if you pick the low fat variety, of course) plus its yummy. Apparently any type will work. Fruity, bitsy, smooth, with or without sugar, low fat, double cream, the works. I always have a large tub of fat-free plain on hand because it works both ways for savoury and sweet. This has become my go-to recipe for summer and I hope you give it a try. For a really fun time, pronounce the word “yoghurt” like Delia Smith does – “yoggit” . Love it! (my other favourite Delia word is gooseberries, I would have loved to use them in this recipe. “Goozzzbries”).

my dream scenario right there

I had a brief train of thought about lauding the healthiness of yoghurt in this recipe. Then I remembered the cookies, the butter and the condensed milk. Nevermind. That’s why they invented gym and Spanx.

Special thanks to Leonard, a random cat, for keeping me company the first time this tart happened upon my kitchen. I nicknamed it Leonard because it’s hard to keep bumping into someone and striking up a conversation without knowing their name. Then she pitched up in a pink collar. She was very enthusiastic about the yoghurt.

crushed carbs

pata pata

i see yooooo


something smells good


tarted up

glazed look

For one roughly 20cm Tangy Tart:

Approximately half a packet of Tennis biscuits. Have a full pack on hand in case more is needed – it’s really dependent on the size of the dish used. Plus you should never waste food so even if you don’t use it, you should eat it *angelic solves-world-hunger face*.

3 tablespoons of butter, melted (same as for above – have some extra on standby)

500ml yoghurt – pick a flavour. Any flavour.

1 can of sweetened condensed milk. 397g.

Say hello to your cooking buddy (in my case, Leonard in all her furry gangliness). Break the biscuits into a food processor and remember to warn Leonard about the noise it is about to make, and then watch her jump 6 feet in the air when you press play. If you prefer, pop the biscuits into a plastic bag and wallop it with something heavy, like a rolling pin or a baseball bat. Your call. Make nice nubbly crumbs.

Mix the crumbs with the butter, then press it into any shallow microwave-safe dish. In my hurry I used my mankiest old pyrex  dish that has lived through many a kitchen experiment, and only noticed when I looked at the photos – oops. I’ve chosen to use less crumbs after the first attempt as I like lots of creamy filling, but the crumb:filling ratio is entirely up to you.

Join Leonard in a brief game of Hide and Seek in the garden.

Thoroughly mix the yoghurt and the condensed milk. Pour it over the crust. Give Leonard a bowl of water to stem the flow of her complaints about not being given a chance to sample the yoghurt.

Pop the assembled tart into the microwave for approximately 3 minutes – you need to watch it carefully the first time, since all microwaves are not equal. You are looking for that moment where it sets. Tiny bubbles will appear along the perimeter, and if you give it a gentle prod in the centre it will show your fingerprint (and not simply allow your finger to dip in). Let it cool before parking it in the fridge until it’s all chilled out.

{finger impression - make sure it's a good one}

{finger impression – make sure it’s a good one}

toil and trouble

There you go. Done! Unless, of course, you feel embarrassed about how easy it was. In this case, slice up fresh fruit (I like strawberries because a) they look like hearts and b) if you turn the hearts upside down they look like bottoms) and prepare a glaze using fruit juice and a tiny bit of cornstarch and sugar (nuke it for a few seconds). Park the fruit on the cooled tart, brush with the glaze, and then impress the socks of people on a hot summer’s day.



{... or bottoms? hmm}

{… or bottoms? hmm}

Actually even if there are no people to impress the hosiery off of, make the tart anyway, grab a good book (you can see them in the pics – good old standbys) and find a shady spot to indulge.

bring on the bella



PS: Not sure how I missed this internet phenomenon, so here it is in case you were also hiding under a rock that day – Yogurt the Pirate Dog:

{to err is human, to arrrrrrrr is pirate}

{to err is human, to arrrrrrrr is pirate}


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