Cooler As Egge

OK, so many many deep breaths and zen-y calming techniques later (read: gnashing of teeth and shaking of fists until exhausted) I have calmed down from my crazy-lady rant about the misconceptions of the eating habits of the Singleton. As mentioned in a previous post, I have been planning to tell you all about these wonderful microwave recipes I’ve discovered, but I had to wait until I could slow my ferocious vitriolic typing down to a speed that didn’t have sparks flying from the keyboard. I found literally hundreds of recipe ideas on the Net, then narrowed them down by picking the things that I like to eat, then narrowed them down further by eliminating all the duds. By duds, I mean anything that resulted in a wobbly lump of rubber in my mug (I was surprised at how often this happened actually. It was a bit like being Robin Williams’ character in the movie Flubber – except these duds, regrettably, did not perform any funny dance moves).

cos crack aint so whack

This recipe for a “microwave omelet” is amazing – I wouldn’t really describe it as an omelet myself, it’s more like set scrambled eggs. A scromelet? Hmm. Sounds like it could be a technical word used in school rugby.

u crack me up

Anyway the name is beside the point since it is absolutely YUMMY if done right, and it scores bonus points for literally using only a mug and a fork and also … wait for it…. being DONE in 2 MINUTES! Up until this past Sunday I had been telling anyone who would stand still long enough about what a time-saver the kettle-boiled-eggs were of a weekday morning. Now I look back at the boiled eggs through slitty eyes and with heaps of contempt, since I can have a high-protein hot breakfast ready in the same time as it takes to make a cup of coffee.

dig in

I’ve decided that this is my new favourite omelet because it’s not as fiddly to make as a proper folded one in a pan (because it will always tear and the filling will spew out and burn onto the pan) and that it’s even yummier than my previous most favourite omelet ever. My previous favourite was the ham and cheese omelet prepared by the nice lady at the City Lodge. Nice lady – you have been wasting your time. Use the microwave rather.

that is all

butter me up

it takes 2

embellished

peekaboo

For one microwave omelet:

(I’m not even going to list the ingredients. It’s just that simple).

Either give a microwave-safe mug a burst of cooking spray or alternately (and this is the yummier option), plop half a teaspoon of butter into it, melt it in the microwave (5 seconds should do it) and swirl it round the mug to coat.

Crack 2 eggs into the mug. Give them a beating, then mix in your choice of bitsy embellishments and seasoning. I like ripped-up ham and roughly crumbled feta with lots of black pepper.

Put the mug in the centre of the microwave and press play for a total of 2 minutes. At 30 second intervals, stop the microwave, carefully remove the (very hot) mug and stir the contents – there will be a layer of cooked egg forming on top and you need to distribute this to prevent a dry rubbery layer forming. The last 30 seconds are my favourite – it starts to rise up to the top of the mug as if it’s peeping out, and when you open the microwave door it shoots back down again (maybe it’s only funny at that time of morning when my sense of humour hasn’t really woken up yet?).

You will know it’s done when there’s no free liquid. It shouldn’t be too dry either, my guess is that it will be like eating those green foam cubes that florists stick floral arrangements into. Garnish with a sprinkle of fresh chopped herbs and prepare to be impressed. Or impress someone else. Easiest breakfast in bed ever.

nom nom nom

A note of caution: Microwave cooking is awesome BUT things that go into the microwave seem to get much much hotter than other cooking methods, the kind of heat would worry the devil himself into blowing on a forkful of food before eating it. It also tends to stay hot for a longer time, especially in the middle. Be very careful when removing the mug from the microwave and also when shoveling the scromelet into your mouth. Scorched tastebuds are not the ideal way to start your day.

PS: About the name of this post. I have been avoiding names that are too local but since most of you reading this are South African I’m not too bovvered anymore. And if you aren’t South African you can use Google translate or ask your nearest friendly South African. The name comes from the Jack Parow song (love Jack Parow! Esp since I lived in Parow back in the good old days). And according to my sister, he’s cooler than Steve Hofeier.

PPS: I found this really funny slogan generator and plugged the word “egg” into it. The first one to come up was “Hungry? Why Wait? Grab an Egg”. How perfect is that! The others were way more arb…. here’s a sample:

  • Does the hard egg for you
  • Because so much is riding on your egg
  • Egg, take me away
  • Ribbed for her egg

(This is my new favourite online tool – expect some strange post names in future).

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5 thoughts on “Cooler As Egge

  1. amazing stuff, i do recall the morning i told your cousin,lisa(then grade1) she can boil her egg in the microwave.oops i forgot to add the water and when she opened the micro, egg attack on her face.we were left with a very sad 6yr.old who today still reminds me that i should rather stick to my cleaning skills.

  2. Pingback: Eggs | The Hungry Lion

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