Searching for a Heart of Gold

I have such a vast backlog of bloggable stuff (including very, very belated Christmas goodies) that each time I look at the photos and recipes I feel quite exhausted without having done anything. So let’s start the year off with something simple…..

heart of gold indeed

I love the Neil Young song that is the title of this post, but (embarrassingly) I had no clue who sang it or what it was called – I just knew it played in Eat Pray Love at the part where Julia Roberts wakes up and removes the turkey from the oven at an ungodly hour. Arb, yes. So when my sister gave me a hot pink MP3-player already loaded with songs, I was mighty excited to come across the song again. I played it on repeat for about 3 hours straight then googled the lyrics, then the aforementioned sister sent me the following quote that she had coincidentally come across on the same day:

“Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold

– but so does a hard-boiled egg.” – Anon

I love hard-boiled eggs. I don’t know why so many people will not admit to this – it’s as if there’s something hideously uncool about boiled eggs, like they’re right down there with wearing socks and sandals, or having the ability to do the Macarena really well. Perhaps it’s because boiled eggs have got this bad reputation as blue-ringed, farty-smelling lumps of vulcanised rubber that originated in a hen’s bum?

Think again – they’re pre-packed little purveyors of economical high-quality protein – 12% of it them Dr Atkins favourite macronutrient! They have a bit of sat fats and cholesterol too, but not enough to kill you as we were warned in the 80’s (why listen to someone with a bad perm and a bubble skirt anyway?). The point is that they really do have a heart of gold, and I don’t know why that quote makes it sound like a bad thing.

So since I’ve totally sold you on the idea that boiled eggs are not something embarrassing and shameful to eat, you must be thinking “who has time to fire up a stove and then study one of the many convoluted methods out there that guarantee no blue ring, and then it ends up looking like the yolk has a 5 o’clock shadow anyway?”. The answer is no-one, because Alton Brown has sorted us out…

gently does it

fortunately my parents have a transparent kettle...

you can actually SEE the heat...

is it just me or is it hot in here

the meditative egg

you crack me up

So, this is what you need to do:

(I let all of this happen while I make myself glamorous for work, for a pretty much effortless breakfast… all I need now is an eggstractor – I kid you not, check the link out).

Wash and dry as many room-temperature eggs as you plan to consume. I have had the privilege of taking tours through several egg factories (oh man. I’m soooo tempted to say “egg plants”) and it doesn’t matter if the carton says “washed”, give them a bit of spit and polish anyway. Don’t forget to be gentle, and if there is even the slightest suggestion of a crack in the shell leave that one for an omelet.

Gently place the eggs in your kettle. They should be in a single layer and there needs to be enough room for them to bounce around a bit – depending on the size of your kettle and the size of the eggs you could probably get between 2 and 4 in there.

Cover with at least 2cm of tap water, then press play on your kettle. When it switches itself off, wait 15 minutes. Pour the hot water out (into a suitable receptacle, to be used to water your potplants later!) and fill the kettle with cold water – as soon as the eggs are cool enough to handle, peel them. I find that the best way to do it to knock them around on the kitchen counter to crack the shell all over, then start peeling where the air sac is at the blunt end. Jamie Oliver does a far better job but it’s a bit too David Copperfield for me (the magician not the Dickens character). Not a blue ring in sight.

perfect!

If you are a Wodehouse fan, then you will know what I mean when I say: Don’t be a hard-boiled egg – try this, you will thank me.

If you are not a Wodehouse fan it’s because you’ve never read his books, so give it a try. You will thank me for this, too.

Get Neil Young going and think how much easier this is than having to go to Hollywood or Redwood, or crossing an ocean to find a heart of gold.

ah bless

PS: If you happen to notice a large volume of foam spewing forth from your kettle at any point – I hate to break it to you (haha, another bad pun) but the egg has, um, broken. Sorry. Don’t let it put you off the idea forever.)

PS Again: How cool is this idea?? How did I not think of it? And why didn’t I think of such an awesome name for my blog before they did? Dang nabbit.

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6 thoughts on “Searching for a Heart of Gold

  1. Is this post just the start of the “eggsperiments”??? hehe! You must definately add some more of your fab egg ideas!
    Oh and i will definately admit that i LOVE boiled eggs!!

  2. Also, maybe since two of us have publicly admitted to liking boiled eggs, we could end up being responsible for starting a trend! Ooh, trendsetters!! Soon all those fancy-shmancy people eating in posh restaurants will be ordering hardboiled eggs…

  3. Pingback: Cooler As Egge | Once Upon a Wooden Spoon…

  4. Pingback: Poach Eggs – Not Rhino’s | Once Upon a Wooden Spoon...

  5. Pingback: Eggs | The Hungry Lion

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