Grow a Mousse-tache

How’s this for an alternative to desperately trying to grow a straggly strip of facial fur: get a milkshake moustache instead!

While searching for an edible tribute to Movember I came across a few kitchen utensils which would be useful but it just seemed too simple – and in any case, they wouldn’t have arrived in time. Then it dawned that the word moustache is very similar to the word mousse… a coincidence? I think not. This milkshake was absolutely meant to be. (I also thought of Pistachio Moustachio – but it’s been done, according to Google).

Moustache Cookie Cutter from wantitall.co.za

Chocolate Moulds from wantitall.co.za

I could have made regular chocolate mousse, but that’s soooo several months ago (see here) and in any case, if you try to drink it it instead of a moustache you’ll just get a facefull of chocolate mousse (not completely a bad thing in my books, but not particularly Movember-y).

Warning: This is not for the faint-hearted or the clogged-artery-hearted. It is literally a drinkable chocolate mousse, rich and thick and chocolatey. It will make you feel completely ill if you haven’t been forewarned and fasted for two or three days prior to consumption. Even then, you will need to lie down in a darkened room afterwards while your digestive system says “wait, what?”, and when you do recover the use of your limbs you will need to do 50 push-ups as penance.

It’s so totally worth it.

For one big bold Chocolate Mousse-tache Milkshake (or 2, if you’re less greedy than me):

~ 1 teaspoon dark chocolate ganache, made with chocolate with at least 70% cocoa solids (that blog post will appear as soon as I’ve recovered from this milkshake)

4 heaped tablespoons of same dark chocolate ganache

~100g decent vanilla ice-cream (I used an ice-cream on a stick, instead of buying an entire tub) (do not buy the stuff called “frozen dessert” – it’s awful)

100ml cream

100ml milk, and possibly more

~200ml more cream

1 teaspoon icing sugar

a few drops of vanilla extract

First, it’s time to get the creative juices going. Grab a small, clean paintbrush and pick your favourite moustache from the chart below; paint it on the inside rim of the glass about 1cm down. Allow the glass to chill in the fridge while continue.

Place the ganache in a blender and blitz it until it’s thick and mousse-y in texture – not too firm, it should still be able to flow if you tilt the blender. Chop the ice-cream into chunks and add to the blender, then blend til smooth and thick. Yummo! If you bought a single-serve like I did, it’s completely ok to eat the chocolate coating off it first – waste not, want not…

At this point it will be far too thick to drink comfortably – thin it down with a bit of cream and milk until you have a nice velvety-textured shake that won’t suffocate you when you drink it.

Whip the remaining cream with the icing sugar and vanilla until it is just a teeny bit thicker than the milkshake – I made an oopsie at this point and added milk to the cream instead of into the blender.

So what you should do next is pour the milkshake into the glass until it’s just under the moustache, then top it up with the sweetened cream. It will provide a nice contrasting background to show off the moustache. If, like me, you made an oopsie, pour the cream mixture in and watch in horror as it sinks straight to the bottom of the glass – oh well, there’s always a next time. In desperation, scrape the milky froth from the bowl and try to top the milkshake with it, then roll your eyes and shout “I give up!”. It will make a fancy tie-dye effect at the bottom which will allow you to say with aplomb (if you’re making this for someone else): “That’s exactly the effect I was hoping to achieve”.

Make sure that your clothes are not too binding – corsets, belts and your prom dress/suit circa 1994 are discouraged. Prop yourself up in a comfy spot then sink into this outrageously chocolatey sinfulness until you have a mousse-tache that will make the owner of the world’s most famous moustache proud…

 

PS: If you are over 18 and really want to take this over the top, add a bit of boozy goodness – I used Amaretto but I bet Malibu liqueur (my new favourite, tastes like suntan lotion smells) or Amarula would be divine as well.

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